Monday, December 30, 2013

Ava Ayers and Dead Kennedys: Bite Me, Lloyd Dobler

As 2013 comes to an end, I'm reflecting on breakups. Not just on this year's but over the last several years. I've come to the conclusion that my ideas surrounding my definition of relationships and romantic love has remained static since about the second grade. And it's not just me. How many times have you ever sat with your girlfriends, pint of ice cream or vodka in your face, and said: "Why can't I get a guy to pull a Lloyd Dobler for me?" 

I get it. 

Because a guy with a boom box and bad taste in music standing under my window would prove my worth, right? Look at all this trouble for little old me! And when this inevitably did not happen, it colored my whole remembrance of the relationship and how I perceived myself. He usually ended up much better than he actually was in my mind and I ended up much worse. 

It's not all Lloyd Dobler's fault. It's ego-driven. 

This is not a useful expectation for us to have and it's not fair to expect of the other. I can only imagine how I would feel if some dude said to me: "You never took me and three circus freaks on like that chick in Around The World In Katie Blaze! You never loved me!"

So bite me, Lloyd Dobler.

As much as I do not want anyone's heart broken in 2014, if it happens to me, I vow to look upon the relationship, the man and myself without the insane, emo, romanticized filter as I should have in a couple of my past relationships.

You know, honestly:

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Happy Holidaze!

I hope you all have an absolutely amazing holiday and my wish for you (and me) is that 2014 is filled with a billion times more laughter than tears and much more passion than despair. 

Reach out to a friend, or even a stranger, who you suspect is lonely. People don't always tell you when they are and it's not like that tacky sweater your granny gave you for Christmas--it isn't always be seen on the outside. Be kind to yourselves and one another and fill yourself with love even when, especially when, you feel like you can't bear it.

Think about sharing your fears and your dreams and the stuff that makes you feel like you may be a tad insane with someone. Just take the leap (hell, write to me if you don't want anyone to know, I promise you'll feel less crazy). If you made a mistake and trusted the wrong person, well, now you know. Whatever.

Do not allow anyone to dumb you down, do not allow anyone to stand on your neck and do not allow anyone to dismiss you. However, go out there and knock each person you meet on their ass with your humanity...someone will envy you for it and follow in kind. 

Let go of trying to say the perfect thing or wearing the perfect thing or making the perfect thing. Better yet, drop the word perfect. But make sure you are awesome today and even more awesome tomorrow. 

At the end of the day, we are all a little fucking nuts. Get over it.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Playlists and Music

I need to listen to music as much as I need to write.

When I begin a project, I create a Playlist for that project which sets the tone (see what I did there?) for the characters, locations, different scenes and moods. Depending on how focused my brain feels I will sometimes listen to the songs I created in my playlists while I'm writing or I will listen to get me geared up in preparation for the writing. 

Sometimes, I mention certain songs or bands in individual books like I did in Pretty Hate. Music and certain songs  bonded Beth Munroe and her friend India...songs like Tuesday's Gone by Lynryd Skynyrd, which they always listened to on airplanes or Cut Dead by Jesus and Mary Chain, which they always listened to when their hearts were broken.

I included the Playlists for the books I created on the site. I also frequently include a video in a post because I was listening to that song while writing the post. I tried to find videos on YouTube that did not have advertisements (is everything monetized these days?) because it's sort of jarring to be interrupted by a tampon ad in the middle of listening to some sweet tunes--at least I find it so. 

My musical taste is eclectic. I listen to anything from rap to punk. It's a certain song that does it for me rather than a particular genre. I get inspired by the music and pick up the mood from a certain song that I feel down to my toes. I've frequently discovered certain bands or songs by suggestions from others. 

So, I hope you hear something you like. Maybe a song you forgot about that evokes a certain memory or a new song you discover that you listen to on a loop. Let me know if you have any suggestions for songs you love too!

Here's a link to my YouTube Channel in case you want to listen in a different window: Ava Ayers YouTube Channel