Monday, December 30, 2013

Ava Ayers and Dead Kennedys: Bite Me, Lloyd Dobler

As 2013 comes to an end, I'm reflecting on breakups. Not just on this year's but over the last several years. I've come to the conclusion that my ideas surrounding my definition of relationships and romantic love has remained static since about the second grade. And it's not just me. How many times have you ever sat with your girlfriends, pint of ice cream or vodka in your face, and said: "Why can't I get a guy to pull a Lloyd Dobler for me?" 

I get it. 

Because a guy with a boom box and bad taste in music standing under my window would prove my worth, right? Look at all this trouble for little old me! And when this inevitably did not happen, it colored my whole remembrance of the relationship and how I perceived myself. He usually ended up much better than he actually was in my mind and I ended up much worse. 

It's not all Lloyd Dobler's fault. It's ego-driven. 

This is not a useful expectation for us to have and it's not fair to expect of the other. I can only imagine how I would feel if some dude said to me: "You never took me and three circus freaks on like that chick in Around The World In Katie Blaze! You never loved me!"

So bite me, Lloyd Dobler.

As much as I do not want anyone's heart broken in 2014, if it happens to me, I vow to look upon the relationship, the man and myself without the insane, emo, romanticized filter as I should have in a couple of my past relationships.

You know, honestly: